Category Archives: Humor

All Roads Lead to Rome

One of my favorite features of WordPress is called “Site Stats.” It allows you to see search engine terms people use to find your blog. Most of my traffic comes from people searching for squirrels, something I find really funny.

Suri Cruise loves squirrels too!

Here’s a look at how people found Electric Spiel today.

Search Views
squirrels 37
a walk in the woods 4
baby squirrel 2
song of myself 2
squirrel cannibalism 2
pictures of squirrels 2
do squirrels eat each other? 1
pics of squirrels 1
squirrel with tail in the air 1
song of myself section 52 d 1
Total views referred by search engines 53

“Letter to the Woman Who Stopped Writing Me Back” by Jeffrey McDaniel

I wanted you to be the first to know – Harper & Row
has agreed to publish my collected letters to you.

The tentative title is Exorcist in the Gym of Futility.

Unfortunately I never mailed the best one,
which certainly was one of a kind.

A mutual friend told me that when I quit drinking,

I surrendered my identity in your eyes.

Now I’m just like everyone else, and it’s so funny,

the way monogamy is funny, the way
someone falling down in the street is funny.

I entered a revolving door and emerged
as a human being. When you think of me
is my face electronically blurred?

I remember your collarbone, forming the tiniest
satellite dish in the universe, your smile
as the place where parallel lines inevitably crossed.

Now dinosaurs freeze to death on your shoulder.

I remember your eyes: fifty attack dogs on a single leash,
how I once held the soft audience of your hand.

I’ve been ignored by prettier women than you,
but none who carried the heavy pitchers of silence
so far, without spilling a drop.